Q&A

Coming home to yourself means developing a trusting, compassionate relationship with your own inner world.

It means turning toward what is alive within you, just as it is. Making room for complexity and contradiction. Becoming curious about your experiences, feelings, and longings without needing to immediately understand, change, or judge them.

For many of us, coming home also involves understanding how our past experiences have shaped us. There can be healing in making sense of what we've lived through, tending to what still feels tender, and learning to offer ourselves some of the care, protection, reassurance, or understanding we may not have received when we needed it.

This can be especially meaningful for highly sensitive systems. The intention is not to become less sensitive or better at tolerating what overwhelms you, but to understand and honor your own needs and experiences.

Coming home is not about becoming a better version of yourself. It is about becoming more deeply acquainted with who you already are. As that relationship deepens, there can be less need to mask, perform, or organize yourself around who you think you're supposed to be, and more freedom to live with authenticity, integrity, and alignment.

One of my teachers, Martha Beck, uses the metaphor of our “real home address,” an inner place of peace and integrity where we become more available to recognize and receive what is aligned with who we are.

And home is not somewhere we finally arrive, nor does it require us to always feel calm, certain, or comfortable. It is a relationship with ourselves that we can return to, again and again.

What is Self-Leadership, and how does Internal Family Systems (IFS) help us cultivate it?

If coming home to yourself is the invitation, Self-Leadership is the ongoing practice of finding your way there and learning to stay in relationship with yourself through all that life brings.

Self-Leadership is a central concept within Internal Family Systems (IFS), a model developed by Richard Schwartz. IFS recognizes that we are beautifully complex inner communities made up of many different parts, each with its own feelings, beliefs, needs, and experiences. At our core, we also have Self, an inherent source of wisdom, curiosity, compassion, and clarity.

You might have a part that longs for change and another that fears it. A part that wants to be seen and another that would rather disappear. You may notice parts that criticize, people-please, withdraw, or work very hard to keep everything under control.

IFS invites us to approach these parts with curiosity rather than judgment, understanding how they came to be, what they've been trying to do for us, and what they might need. As our parts develop trust in Self, they can begin to feel less alone, release old burdens, and discover new ways of relating to us and the world.

Self-Leadership doesn't mean always feeling calm, confident, or certain. It means cultivating a relationship with our inner world in which all parts are welcome, while learning to recognize when a part has taken the lead and how to reconnect with Self.

Although “parts work” is a common term for this kind of exploration, I think of it less as work and more as a practice of inner relating. IFS gives us a language for understanding ourselves, and over time, that language can become a lifestyle.

The heart of Self-Leadership is becoming someone your whole inner world can trust.

You don't need any previous experience with IFS or inner exploration to begin. All that's needed is some curiosity about yourself and a willingness to explore new ways of relating to your inner world.

You don't have to arrive completely convinced, either. Skeptical, hesitant, and protective parts are welcome here too!

We can begin with whatever feels most alive for you, whether that's something painful, confusing, exciting, or full of possibility. Our exploration might be tender and emotional, or surprising, creative, playful, and fun.

Perhaps you're:

• Navigating grief, a life transition, or a difficult past experience

• Experiencing self-criticism, anxiety, self-doubt, or conflicting inner voices

• Feeling stuck in patterns or coping strategies you'd like to understand

• Struggling to recognize or express your needs, anger, desires, or boundaries

• Navigating challenges in your relationships

• Highly sensitive and wanting to better understand and care for your system

• Seeking your calling, exploring your inherent gifts, or dreaming of something new

• Curious about your dreams and what they might reveal

• Interested in pre-journey support or post-psychedelic integration

• Or simply feeling drawn toward a deeper relationship with yourself

Your nuances matter. Every detail of your experience is valuable information. There is room for all of you here, including the parts that are unsure.

You make sense, and you cannot get this wrong.

There is no set formula for a session. We begin with whatever feels most alive for you that day, allowing curiosity to guide our exploration.

We might slow down and notice what's happening in your body or inner world, get to know a part of you, or make space for something that hasn't had much room to be heard. I draw from IFS, Martha Beck Wayfinder tools, felt-sense practices, and Nonviolent Communication (NVC), offering different approaches depending on what feels supportive.

You are always in choice about where we go and how deeply we explore. We move at the pace of your system, and there is never a requirement to disclose, revisit, or work through something before you feel ready. Even the parts that would rather not explore are welcome.

Sessions might be tender, emotional, quiet, playful, creative, or surprising. Sometimes a tool helps us discover something new. Other times, simply slowing down and allowing ourselves to be with what is present can be meaningful.

There is no particular way you need to show up, and nothing you need to perform.

If you're sitting with something big or interested in deeply understanding your inner world, I believe there's real value in meeting weekly or bi-weekly. Consistency gives us time to build trust, become familiar with your system, and establish a strong foundation for this practice.

My intention is for you to develop a trusting, compassionate relationship with your inner world that becomes increasingly your own. Every system is different, and there is no prescribed timeline for how that relationship unfolds.

For some, our sessions become a valued, ongoing space to land, reflect, practice, and be witnessed as life unfolds. Others may eventually choose to meet less frequently or return for occasional sessions when something feels particularly alive, tender, or worthy of dedicated space.

We can continue checking in together about what feels supportive for you and your system. There is no right way to do this, and you cannot get it wrong!

You can find my current rates on the booking pages. Accessibility is important to me, and I reserve a limited number of reduced-rate sessions each month. If you'd like to be added to the waitlist for one of these spaces, please reach out through my Contact Form.

I am based in Portland, Oregon, and support clients locally and around the world. I work with most of my clients on the phone or on video, and also offer a voice note support option for established clients. I do work with a few clients in person in Portland, and hope to offer sessions alongside donkeys in the future.

Through my own journey with this work, I've experienced shifts that continue to ripple into every area of my life.

My inner critics and perfectionist parts have softened. I've stopped trying to earn love or prove my worth. Codependent patterns have relaxed. I trust that others are on the exact right path for them, and I for me. I pause before reacting now, checking in with myself before choosing how to respond. My people-pleasing part has quieted enough that saying no, setting boundaries, and expressing my needs no longer feel dangerous.

Most of all, I trust myself. My own inner wisdom. My own North Star. And for the first time, my choices feel like mine, rooted in authenticity rather than fear, approval, or the parts of me that were simply doing their best to keep me safe.

These shifts don't just bring more ease and joy to my own life. They also deepen my capacity to hold space for others with curiosity, compassion, and trust in the wisdom of their own systems.

As a first step, please book a free Curiosity Call. This gives us a chance to meet, talk about what is bringing you here, explore what you’re looking for, and get a sense of whether working together feels like a good fit.

After we’ve chatted, you can book your First Full Coaching Session, where we’ll dive more deeply into what feels alive for you and explore how ongoing support might best serve you. If we decide to continue working together, we can discuss a regular weekly or bi-weekly cadence that feels supportive for you and your system.

Once you’re an established client, you’ll also have the option to book one-off sessions as needed.

I know that life happens! Parts of us forget, lose track of time, get overwhelmed, avoid things, or have days when something falls through the cracks. These policies aren’t about judging or shaming your system when that happens. They’re a way for me to care for my own time and capacity while creating a coaching relationship grounded in clear communication, mutual respect, and trust. When we both know what to expect, there’s more room for compassion, flexibility, and repair when things don’t go as planned.

Cancellation Policy

If you need to cancel with less than 24 hours’ notice, the full session fee will apply. I’m happy to waive the fee if we can easily find another time to meet within the same week, or in the case of an emergency.

Late Arrival & No-Show Policy

If you know you’re running late, please text or email me before our scheduled session begins. I’m happy to accommodate a late start of up to 10 minutes when I know in advance that you’re on your way. We’ll simply use the remaining time in our scheduled session.

If our session begins and I haven’t heard from you, I’ll text you at the 5-minute mark to check in. If I still haven’t heard from you by 10 minutes after our scheduled start time, I’ll sign off and consider the appointment a no-show. The full session fee will apply, and I won’t remain available for the remainder of the scheduled hour.

If I hear from you only after our session has already begun, I may not be able to accommodate a late start. Please don’t assume I’ll remain available unless we’ve been in communication.

A note about emergency contacts: If you indicated on your intake form that you would like me to contact your emergency contact in the event of an unexpected no-show, I will follow the preference you provided and reach out to that person.